a role we play
just a figment
conceived by the mind.
born of the heart.
suffered by the memory.
died in the soul.
rose from the dead
for another to behold.

its just a role we play

ive fallen behind
stuck in my own mind
lost in my own lyrics
just trying to keep time.
trying to keep in key
but its all to much for me.
to sing, play, live and love
its all to much to be.

i forgive but i never forget
and i ve lived a life
of no regrets
and ive lied
a hundred thousand times
but ive tried to walk the line

ive looked for love
in all the wrong places
a tell-tale sign of
misinterpretations
but i did it
with an honest heart
couldnt that be a start?

i’ve kept my word
but ive tasted revenge
i hope it balances
out in the end.
cause ive done my part
tried my very best
gave all my heart
did i pass the test.

three years past
still hurts from the last
a few weeks me and you
and were trying...

trying to take a chance
trace our names in the sand
and pretend for moment
were not lying...

lying here in this place
in each others embrace
undiscovered we go
unabiding...

unabiding these rules
of friends and fools
slowly and quietly
finding

finding our fears
and hoping it clears
and maybe that part
will start dying....

and all the rest won’t die trying.

correct me if im counterfiet
but im trying to comprehend
all these faults and actions
and what happen at their end.

was it the high hopes
or the big dreams
that life tore at the seams?
Was it all so flawed
that it died from birth
a miscarriaged figment
a fantasy? a fallacy at worse?

So now its just me and myself
like it was in the beginning
and shall be in the end
With all these imperfections
to find fill and mend

And as time presses on
and the days come and go
Maybe those things will come to me
Maybe those dreams will eventually show

For once i read somewhere
“ hope for the best
and expect the worse”
A verse I seemed to overlook
So now my hopes are kept in a book:

a safe place, a hide away.

...so they can live another day.

i think ill make it into a song.


There once was a boy
that had many dreams.
Everynight he slept
he dreampt of wonderful things.
And then one day
the boy awoke,
except now called a man,
and he couldn’t dream anymore.
he just didnt understand.

So instead he thought all day,
hopeing that someday
someone could take it all away.
And hoping she would be as pretty
as she was once in his dreams.
But he can’t remember her face.
And He can’t dream anymore
....no, no, he cant anymore.

had alot of writers block lately. i got some new stuff ill put up soon but not alot...i put up some new pics though.

lifes good bands good works good and its friday night so whats good? haha

later.

i gotta type up some of new stuff but i dont feel like it tonight.

ohh btw. myspace = www.myspace.com/newsixstrings920


i love my guitar. lol



later

exhale.
Smoke intertwine with thought and feelings,
Joy and pain with hurt and healing
time is a drug slow to release
it numbs the heart and breaks the beast.
We say so much and we mean so little
a steady flow, a convoluted riddle
a cryptic maze of heart and mind
a path to follow, a way to find
yourself is such a one way street
keep pushing forward dont drag your feet
isnt that what they always say?
who gives a damn anyway?


thats the verse material, i got a chorus im working on ill just put it inbetween lines and break it up when its done...

i dunno where this came from lol i just started writing and this story evolved...


I feel it creeping on, as the cold distances my mind from my body. It puts up walls and lets me escape. I hide out in the warmth of this familiar place and echo my thoughts from time to time. It’s routine, ritualistic, surreal, and safe-all in one. When I come to, I know I’ll feel my wieght return, and the onslaught of my pulse ringing in my ears. The cold wet sensation of the blood on my face lets me know I’m alive. And I’ll have to stand again, on my own two feet, and fight. Fight the gravity, and the vertigo, and the blur. I’ll have to get back in the ring and beat it all, before it beats me.
The biggest misconception of the ring is that your opponent is what your fighting. The truth, for me atleast, is your fighting yourself: your will to survive, your fears, your pain, your doubts. Its one of the biggest parallels to life, and yet the most overlooked.
“One!” I hear it echo in my mind. Where am I? Why am I here? I question myself in this moment of truth. Then I remember. I am a fighter. A self proclaimed champion of my own world.
“Two!” I think of that pretty girl in the second row-- her blonde hair, and piercing blue eyes. I saw her watching me from the crowd, watching how I move, admiring my grace. Except there is no grace in falling. I wonder if she still thinks of me the same, I wonder if I still have a chance. Maybe if I win, maybe then.....
“Three!” I hear the count growing.
“Four!” I dont want to. I don’t want to get up, I dont want to fight it. Its safe here...
“Five!” I can feel the silence, hear the echo of my own monologue. The lights are starting to burn through my eyelids.
“Six!” My head pulses. Muscles ache. Lungs Choke. My lower left ribs hurt when I cough.
“Seven!” I cant stay here much longer.
“Eight!” I start to pull on the ropes, placing my wieght on my knees as I re-evaluate my balance.
“Nine!” I begin to stand, and as I lift my head I taste the blood and sweat and salt in my mouth. I can feel it trickling down my swollen face.
“Nine!” I heard it much more clearly this time. The ref said “nine” twice. Twice means I need to move. Twice means its not over, not yet. Time to fight...

lets play hangman
like we did as youths
ill guess your fears
as you hang for your truths

ill draw in your body
blue eyes and soft skin
An object of such beauty...
your death would be a sin.

Start with your silhouette
a series of curves and lines
then his face on your heart
and his heart on your mind

Then shade in all of your scars
from stories of the past
Each person earns a mark
from first to last.

Color in your chemicals
that take over like they do
these are the colors
that always draw me into you.

And your image is becoming clearer
so I beckon for a clue
“give something baby
so maybe i can save you.”

Why’d you play this game
if you never planned victory
cause watching you lose
is beginning to kill me

A chain reaction
i feel the floor slip out from under
now its my turn on the gallows
and someone elses turn to wonder

what went wrong
what has taken place
who should take the blame
in this fucked up murder case.

its official im back into writing again....i got into it after highschool when i had no more essays to write and assignments to complete....i guess thats when i realized i really like it....

i wrote that whole first year off and on not really as much as i wanted to, then i went out with diana and wrote more often. When we broke up i stopped writing except one last song. Now im finding myself writing journal type entrys, lyrics, melodies, and even fictional scenes.


occasionally ill post what i feel is not too personal and can be shared...

heres a taste of a song i just started working on...you gotta look past the immediate interpretation and think about what is really being said...lets see who can guess it right outta context haha!


Baby im a song writer
So love is just another word
But right now im writting
How your not just another girl


like i said its kinda catch 22 ironic and really has a deeper meaning....shoot away

well i never got this whole live journal thing....because anything of value that i would want to write down and get out iw ouldnt want to be public info lol. but i figured what the hell i wanted to try it so here i am...

i dont know how i plan on using this, maybe some lyrics? maybe some journal entrys? who knows....lol and just so everyone knows any lyrics that turn up probably dont reflect anything thats going on in my life cause when i write lyrics i like to pretend....its like an escape i guess? so actually about 90% of the lyrics i write are usually totally opposite of whats really going on haha.